Thursday, January 21, 2010

How to Succeed on a Ship Without Really Trying

 Step 1: Meclizine.
  I was referred to today as a Meclizine dispenser and you know what-that's ok!  Anything to prevent nausea.  We have avoided two storms already and went 300 miles off course because of it.  So we're full speed ahead and rockin away.  Word on the street is the Pacific Ocean's the roughest.

 Step 2: Balance
  Rocking is rough...and hilarious.  Walking down the hallway is clumsy yet choreographed as we all walk in a straight line and all fall to the left and fall to the right-still walking and still keeping the same distance from the person next to you.  It is one of the most bizarre body feelings (up there with when I lost my center of balance when doing a trust fall with Mallory and she didn't catch me).  I will be walking, struggling to walk upwards because of the tilt of the ship and then all of a sudden the ship tilts back the other way and I am effortlessly running down the hallway.  Bare feet is best (although we're not technically allowed to walk around  bare footed on the ship-but it keeps you grounded).  I am learning to walk rhythmically enough that my life does not collapse into the walls-although it still happens.  Even now I am on the deck and as a wave hit all of the tables, chairs, and everyone in them slid to the left and then a little bit back.  Just hold on to your stuff.

 Step 3: Edwin's secret tricks.
  I just discovered the glory of Edwin, my cabin steward (I know-I'm spoiled).
  The last two nights have been tough getting to sleep.  Now that I am pretty used to the rocking it has become soothing and definitely rocks me to sleep.  So just as my mind is drifting off the racket begins.  The pattern is this: slide, click, slide, slam! slide, click, slide slam! SLIDE, CLICK, SLIDE, SLAM! It will drive you nuts!!! My dresser drawers have been falling in and out since the ship is rocking so much.  Books, tissue boxes, water bottles, ad alarm clocks no longer live on the nightstand but now on the floor.  My roommate and I have accepted that fact.  We just figured we would have to learn to block out the banging.  Until....Edwin!
  Today I came into my cabin after Edwin had finished cleaning and the slamming had stopped.  He had rolled up little pieces of what I think is cardboard or some piece of paper and stopped up the drawers so that they are stuck.
  I will sleep well tonight.  But getting dressed tomorrow will be a challenge.

 Step 4: Sunscreen
  You would think I would have known this fact since I'm on a ship and all but the weather hasn't been quite warm enough for tanning.  But when I stepped outside yesterday the sun was euphoric.  I couldn't leave and you couldn't make me.  C'mon-it's January.  And with the endless ocean around you-why leave the deck?  So I didn't.
  Two hours later I have reclaimed my title as Queen of the Crustaceans. I am a LOBSTER!  Melissa and Murray would be so proud.  I am officially bright red with a nice little white heart where my locket lays.  I like the white heart a lot actually-simply because I am now burned to remember my family.  So I am now sitting in the shade (still on the deck-you CAN NOT beat this view!)  Perhaps in a few days I'll be tan. Suckers.

Things happen.  But this is the life.

*Note* In actuality, I know nothing about shipboard life.
Talk to me in four months.

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