Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'll Eat Your Heart Out With a Spoon (props to Spero Gin)

     I have not been updating my blog lately.  Time has been playing tricks on me.  We just got back from India and I still haven’t written about Vietnam and Cambodia yet.
     So I just got out of my global studies class-a class which everyone on the ship is required to take-and today we talked about how this voyage isn’t about sight seeing, but rather about the people we meet.
     So this blog is dedicated to the people I’ve met in my life and how they have carried through with me on this voyage and in my memory.
     My Uncle Chris passed away while I was in India.  He hasn’t been doing well for a while, but we’ve all just been hoping for something good to happen-and I suppose this is something-good or bad.  It kills me that I can’t be at home with my family right now.  It is engrained in my mind that when you lose someone you should be there-quickly.  Had I known before I left the ship I would have skipped India and flew back home for a few days-how expensive can flights be from India anyway?-Doesn’t matter.
     The countries I have been visiting (Japan, China, Vietnam, Cambodia, and India) have a large emphasis on family.  In these countries people spend their lives attached to their family.  Some live in the same homes their entire lives, some work together, cook together, eat together, and pray together.  The point is, the connection is solid and the respect for one another is unconditional.  I want so badly to share these values with my family back home.  I love my family, more than anything in the world-and I would do anything for them-but I feel like the last few years have been distant.  Families are supposed to spend time together, especially holidays.  They are supposed to talk with one another, share their lives, laugh, love.  They should want to do these things-because this is what we have.  I want to celebrate our history together and appreciate that we have similar experiences, backgrounds, personalities, and humor.  When my family gets together (on the rare occasion that we are all present) I have always felt blessed-and blissful.  Since I was little I never wanted the night to end when we are all together.  I can remember so many times, looking at the clock and trying to delay our parents from wanting to leave.  I still don’t want to leave.
     I want to look past the differences that may be between us and find the similarities.  I want us to speak freely to one another and share our feelings.  I want to be able to hang out whenever we are around.  On a day when nothing is going on I want us to call each other up and see if we are interested in getting dinner.
     My grandparents on my mom’s side live in Kentucky.  Her brothers live as far as California.  My grandparents on my dad’s side have been deceased for years-but my aunts, uncles, and cousins all still live on Long Island.  A twenty minute drive is close enough.
     I vow to appreciate the rest of my family, both close and far away, for the good that they have and the good that they have brought out in me.  I have endless happy memories of my family and I together that I will never forget and will bring with me forever.  Maybe now that we are getting older we can all keep those memories and add some more.  If any of you are reading this I love you and miss you.  I hope you feel the same way I do and will try harder with me to see each other more.
     Also, I think Memorial Day is the weekend after my graduation so I should be back home in NY and most likely we all will be home.  I would love to go to the park and wake up early and save a picnic site-just like Uncle Chris used to.  We can barbecue and crack open a few beers, I’ll bring bocce ball, and Eric and my Dad can start a competition over who can run faster.  I think it is time we bring back our traditions and create some new ones.
     Thank you to all my family-blood and non blood-your lives have changed me in so many ways.  My memory is infinite and honestly I have pieces of all of you with me every second of the day.  I love you.

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